Yes, I shaved off my beard
No, I don’t think it looks good either
Yes, I regret it
No, I’m not staying clean-shaven
Yes, it’s growing back
Okay, beard aside. I want to talk about something that happened a couple of weeks ago, which is that my dad passed away.
In case you missed my last video and you don’t know why I haven’t made a video in about a month, that’s why. Been dealing with that.
It, um. It obviously sucks. It’s been hard. Been going through a lot of emotions.
I did get some religious counselling, which was incredibly helpful. And I’ll keep doing that. I didn’t wait for over six years, like I did with my mom.
His passing was as peaceful as it could possibly have been. All his favorite people in the world were in the room with him, except Meghan and our kids, who were here in Oregon.
And my dad was such a beloved guy. He was important to so many people, and the outpouring of love and support has been … frankly, overwhelming.
When we lose someone, common advice is that we should try to spend time with the people we love who are still with us.
And I received so many offers of that. People who wanted to talk, to hang out. The sort of, “I’m here if you need me” thing.
And I love those people and appreciate that impulse. But to be one hundred percent honest—when I’m grieving, I’d much rather be left alone.
It’s hard for me to say exactly why, but one reason is that I find my own thoughts a lot more comforting than the words of other people.
There is a tremendous amount of emotion and feeling surrounding a loss. But when I am alone, I can spend my thoughts on analysis, on logic, and that’s helpful to me. Not as a way of hiding from my emotions, but as a way of processing them.
A lot of times when you’re with other people, they often feel the need to let you feel and to share in your emotion, and that’s just not something that helps me.
Or sometimes they’ll try to distract you from your loss by doing something unrelated, and that DEFINITELY isn’t something I want.
So this is an ongoing thing I’ve been going through and will continue to go through, and sometimes it’s rough,
And it took a while for me to get to the point where I felt like getting back to work would be good for me, but I’m here now, so I’m writing again and here I am, making videos.
Thanks for your understanding over the last few weeks. And please, for my sake, spend some time this week with the people you love the most.
Thank you so much for watching, Rebel. I will see you on Friday. Byyye.