Everything “Wrong” with Selfies

Everything “Wrong” with Selfies

Good morning, Rebels, and welcome back to my life.

Today we’re going to talk about the art of the selfie, which some intellectuals would say really isn’t an art at all, while still other intellectuals think that there just isn’t any art left anymore, man.

We tend to think of selfies as a new, fashionable trend among today’s young people, and some of us tend to get annoyed by it, possibly more annoyed than we should be, possibly even more annoyed than when we found out Zayn was leaving the 1D.

It just won’t be the same D without him.

I’m gonna miss that D.

Have I snuck enough D jokes in yet?

The truth is that selfies are practically as old as human art itself. Ancient pharaohs had built statues and tombs in their own likeness and famous painters have painted self-portraits for hundreds of years.

Even if you’re only talking about photographic selfies, those are almost two hundred years old. The first photographic self-portrait was taken in 1839 by one Robert Cornelius, also known as the guy with one of the coolest main character names ever.

Nowadays people like to take their selfies in mirrors, but even that’s not a new thing. A woman took her picture in a mirror way back in the year 1900, and in 1914 a 13-year-old Russian Grand Duchess did the same thing and mailed the photograph to a friend.

You young kids probably don’t know what mail is, but just think of it as a physical version of email that takes days or weeks to reach the recipient.

Of course you might not even know what email is, so just think of that as an electronic version of texting that people USED to only be able to do from their desktop computers, which used to weigh more than you do.

So selfies are thousands of times older than the word selfie itself, which was coined in 2005 by photographer Jim Krause, so why do people look on selfies with such disdain nowadays?

I mean, the Selfie song probably didn’t help, and if you’ve never heard that song before, allow me to break the Geneva convention.

Okay. Hold on. Hold on. My ears are bleeding.

All right we’re back. But selfies were looked down on years before we ever heard that “song,” so clearly it’s something else.

Maybe it’s the fact that ANYONE can take a selfie nowadays. I mean, with the creation of the forward-facing camera on smartphones, nearly anyone can take as many selfies as they want and post them to their InstaFacegrambooks.

But if you think selfies are stupid just because they’re popular now and anyone can take them, doesn’t that make you little more than a glorified hipster?

(And as a side note, you know who takes a whole lot of selfies? That’s right. Hipsters. You hypocrite).

And if you object to selfies on the ground that the people who take them are by definition a little egotistical and too into their own looks, I would counter by saying that I can’t see that as a bad thing.

I mean modern society hammers all of us with unrealistic standards of beauty with its photoshopped celebrities and its highly stylized methods of filmmaking and its pron.

After the images we see assaulting us day in and day out, it’s a wonder any of us are even willing to be seen out in public, much less proud enough of our own appearance to take a picture of it and share it with our friends and family.

I’m just kidding. No one shares selfies with their family because no one wants their mom to see what they look like on a Saturday night.

And I think we have to give extra props to the people who don’t match society’s modern standards of beauty, who are maybe a little bit thicker or don’t have high, chiseled cheekbones, and still choose to share their appearances with the rest of us.

Viewed through that lens, taking a selfie becomes less of an egotistical fish for compliments and more of a proud anti-establishment declaration that we’re proud of our own bodies and unafraid of what anyone else might say to try to bring us down.

Kidding again. I just like the way I look. DUCKFACE!

As always, Rebels, thanks for watching. Today on my Patreon page I’m going to share five exclusive selfies with me and my family, but you only get to see it if you’re a patron, so…you know. Link in the description.

Share your selfies today with pride, and I will see you tomorrow. Maybe. Byyye.

 

Garrett Robinson

Over 100,000 readers have read and loved Garrett's books, like the fantasy hits Nightblade and Midrealm. He's also a film festival favorite with movies like Unsaid, and a tech guru who posts lots of helpful how-tos for writers and filmmakers over at garrettbrobinson.com.

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